I can tell you that no one has been born a people pleaser! Most of the time, “people-pleasing” patterns and tendencies comes form our childhood and upbringing experiences.

It’s noted that this pattern is often developed in a state of “survial”. Our brains have interpreted messages that is may be more helpful or safer if our reactions to our caregivers/family are to “neutralize” or “avoid” conflict to get our needs met (examples: love, attention, validation, being heard, etc).

Take some time and reflect for why these patterns and tendencies exist for you.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself. When do these tendencies show up? Are there specific people that trigger this pattern? What need do you connect with that is trying to be filled or met? Or what are you trying to void?

Remember my friend, you are not broken! The cycle of people pleasing is a learned behavior that you adapted in the environment you were in at the time. Anything learned can be unlearned!

If you find this pattern to be problematic and negatively impacting your relationships and yourself, please reach out!! There is hope! You can be a re-formed people pleaser!